I FEEL totally HURT, just its killing me SO MUCH :(?

i dont mean ignore her, im the one who needs her.im 16 this summer (female), shes 36 and was a school secretary 2 years ago, since she left school we've still been in contact, she knows i was ually ulted, self-harm, depresed,have family problems and etc.. so she lent an ear to me and was always and is always there for me basically shes a motherly figure , an elder sister and my best friend.. i only have like 2 real friends. her sister came her country with her kids yesturday and the the woman im talking about was supose to meet me and said u can come i said no bec. she said bring ur mum or sister so that my dad wont sit with us cuz shes not married etc i said no bec. i wana spend some time alone with her then i texted her saying ok tel me if u come ill come :D, she didnt cal or anything im thinking of not talking to her for 2 weeks to leave her have time alone but its killing me that i love her alot:( she said ok we will meet next week do i wait for her cal?